Friday, October 14, 2005

Chocolate

Chocolate is a riot. The movie, I mean. An exercise in how not to remake good Hollywood movies. Also an exercise in how not to slip in scenes from other good Hollywood movies.

Picture this. You have Anil Kapoor and Sushma Reddy walk in to a bookstore. Sushma picks up a book and starts reading from the end. Kapoor asks her why. She goes, "Oh, if I die then I will know how the book turned out". Ha ha ha. Very original.

Stepping out of the store, Anil asks Sushma about her new boyfriend. She says his name is Balakrishnan. Anil says "No, no. That doesn't fit. Balakrishnan can do accounts, he can be the family doctor, but he cannot be your boyfriend". That marks the end of the When Harry Met Sally clips.

Here's another: Anil goes to the vamp Tanushree Dutta's house. He spots old newspaper cuttings of himself and comments on it. She says she needs to change her dress. He eyes her through a semi-opaque glass screen, as she slips into the tiniest of mini-skirts. They go to his office, where she crosses her legs. Anil's eyes pop out. No, she doesn't do a complete Sharon Stone, but the film maker would have us believe she could.

The ending makes you wonder whether the director really understood what The Usual Suspects was all about. Murtuza Arzai my gluteus maximus.

30 comments:

  1. haha..you sound really pissed off. Completely agree with you.I thought Chocolate was ok only because I and Nikhil laughed through so many scenes..the 'robbery' scene predominating..so it ended up entertaining us with its psuedo''different'' genre.

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  2. and it's Murtuza Arzai!:P

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  3. YOU, shouldn't be watching Hindi movies :))

    Especially ones that you know are remakes!

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  4. But it gives me good fodder for LJ!

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  5. Eh? I thought Dus was the Usual Suspects remake!

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  6. Wow, I think I averted a mistake just in time. Might have watched this... Not anymore.

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  7. Well, Kaante had the first half of The Usual Suspects as well. It's all over the place.

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  8. No, Dud, sorry Dus, was a *shudder* original. Could have lifted stuff from various Hong Kong movies, though.

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  9. I haven't watched one in more than a year now and want to watch one now. Which is better:

    - Paheli
    - Mangal Pandey
    - Veer Zara
    - Something else

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  10. I'm sorry but I haven't seen any of those :)

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  11. Something else, I'd say.

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  12. Madhav, did you like this more than Samay, the Se7en remake? ;)

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  13. Oh, was Samay a remake of Se7ven? Ha ha ha. I haven't seen that, but have read reviews that it was 'well made'.

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  14. er..no unnerstand.

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  15. Yes, that's what it means. But what's a Murtuza Arzai?

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  16. Something like a Keyser Soze.

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  17. sigh..you're better off not knowing.

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  18. Ah, like that. Ellaam complements aayi; literally.

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  19. and it's all my fault?:D

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  20. Madhav just explained it to me.

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  21. About why it's all her fault?

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  22. hazaron khwaheishein aisi...

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  23. man, you oughta have a self persecution complex to sit through movies like these. why do you??!

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  24. Really. Where do you pick up all these movies? Bleugh!

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