I am getting more and more scared these days, as I grow older. Scared of a lot of things, none of which go bump in the night.
Scared my dad is losing his energy, the tremendous joie de vivre he used to have. I just can't imagine him without that smile on his face, that interest in everything and everyone. This started a month ago, after his fall where he had a hairline fracture on his hand and cut his eyebrow. I think he suddenly realized that he is sixty-five. I did, too.
Scared when my daughter spends two whole days coughing every other minute. I know it's just a throat infection, it will pass soon. But I am scared she'll get up in the night and cough some more, cough out more than what she should. Scared that I'm not doing the best I can as a father, as a protector, as an adult.
I had a rather bad accident close to a year back, when my car overturned. The vehicle was almost totally wrecked, it spent five months in the body shop before coming back home. I escaped with a couple of scratches and a finger that refuses to bend all the way. I am not really affected by that accident, shit happens. But I'm scared I've used up all my lives, could be game over the next time.
Scared of the country I live in, scared of a society which doesn't give a flying fuck about individuals. Scared of a vapid culture, a fast growing generation who are taught not to think, taught totally different kind of values, made to believe in gods they themselves know not to exist.
Hell, I'm one cowardly custard.
Scared my dad is losing his energy, the tremendous joie de vivre he used to have. I just can't imagine him without that smile on his face, that interest in everything and everyone. This started a month ago, after his fall where he had a hairline fracture on his hand and cut his eyebrow. I think he suddenly realized that he is sixty-five. I did, too.
Scared when my daughter spends two whole days coughing every other minute. I know it's just a throat infection, it will pass soon. But I am scared she'll get up in the night and cough some more, cough out more than what she should. Scared that I'm not doing the best I can as a father, as a protector, as an adult.
I had a rather bad accident close to a year back, when my car overturned. The vehicle was almost totally wrecked, it spent five months in the body shop before coming back home. I escaped with a couple of scratches and a finger that refuses to bend all the way. I am not really affected by that accident, shit happens. But I'm scared I've used up all my lives, could be game over the next time.
Scared of the country I live in, scared of a society which doesn't give a flying fuck about individuals. Scared of a vapid culture, a fast growing generation who are taught not to think, taught totally different kind of values, made to believe in gods they themselves know not to exist.
Hell, I'm one cowardly custard.
