Monday, September 30, 2002

From the email rounds dept...


> On the 55th anniversary of India's Independence, the major problems facing India are:
>
> * Corruption
> * Old people acting like teenagers
> * North Indian actors speaking Tamil.
>
> This is the impression I got after watching the new Rajnikanth movie Baba, which was released on August 15th. Rajnikanth had not acted in a movie after the super-hit Padayappa and that was three years ago. As a result, Tamil Movie fans were forced to watch movies like Alavandhan, Hey Ram, Panchathanthiram, and Tenali. All these movies explored subtle nuances of the human psyche using character conflict resulting in some powerful human drama and their resolution required Kamal Haasan .
>
> So when Baba was released, we, Tamil movie fans were excited and became insane. 21-year-old Vijaya pawned his mother's jewellery to buy tickets on the first day. Another person, Mr. Parasuraman, requested the doctor to perform a cesarean operation so that his child's birth would coincide with the release of the film. One of the first things the baby did after coming out was to ask for a beedi, which the baby caught in his mouth after flinging it up in the air.
>
> I saw the movie on the first day itself here in the San Francisco Bay Area because I saw Chandni Bar the previous day and needed something strong to offset the depression. Chandni Bar is a hard-hitting look at the life of beer bar girls and their family. It is the kind of movie where the director's idea of humor is when a local goonda comes into Tabu's house and asks her uncle to stand up. When the uncle thinks of shaking hands with the visitor, the visitor stabs him many times to death.
>
> The story of Baba, penned by Rajnikanth himself, goes like this. Baba is a child born to a middle-aged couple by the blessings of Babaji, a 2000-year-old Y2K-compliant saint living in the Himalayas. Baba grows up to be a young atheistic ruffian played by a middle-aged Rajnikanth with the help of industrial strength makeup. In the first half of the movie, he drinks, smokes and fights with the son of the Deputy Chief Minister, because the interval of the movie has been scheduled couple of days later.
>
> Even though Baba is a goonda at heart, in some issues he is very naive, like for example, love. He falls for his neighbor, Chamundeshwari, played by Manisha Koirala (not the body double) with the help of a dubbing artist. The dubbing is so perfect that Baba thinks she is a Tamilian. The fact that Manisha's mother's role is played by the Malayali actress, Seema, would have triggered the attention of any Intelligence Agency. A Malayali mother, a Tamilian father and a Nepali daughter; if this had happened in the United States, F-16s would be escorting Manisha's family to Guantanamo Bay.
>
> One day a beggar who is actually a saint comes to Baba and tells him that his fake beard is constantly falling off. So they both decide to go to see Babaji who is in the Himalayas. Baba follows him even though the beggar is Sayaji Shinde speaking Tamil.
>
> They enter a nearby tunnel in the mountains in order to reach the Himalayas but actually end up in Switzerland because the Indian Government denied them permission to shoot in Kashmir. According to the Government, various people from Pakistan were shooting there already without permission. The official policy was to deny permission to anyone who specifically asked for it. This is the answer to all those critics who have been saying that the Government is not doing anything in Kashmir.
>
> In Switzerland, Baba meets Babaji, the 2000-year-old saint who gives him seven boons. Baba would have tried the boons immediately but for A.R. Rahman, who interrupted him saying, I have composed these songs, many of> them over the phone from London at unearthly hours. So Rajni breaks off to sing a few songs with Manisha Koirala while the rest of the cast go back to apply more makeup, especially Goundamani who has to act as a teenaged cool dude.
>
> After verifying some of the boons (including a thrilling three-hour scene where a kite chases Rajni), Baba becomes a believer. Soon Baba had to face something very evil, something that no Tamil Hero had ever faced before -- Amrish Puri speaking Tamil. He was brought in by the evil Chief Minister, Bharat Dabholkar and his evil Deputy, Ashish Vidyarthi, both speaking Tamil to grab Baba's Divine Powers (elder brother of Austin Powers).
>
> But all these people were no match for Rajni. He elivered some dialogs with political overtones such as: I will not forget the salt I have eaten of Tamil Nadu because it did not have iodine. Sitting right behind me was a Rajni fan with a towel around his head, 'Baba' style. For each dialog Rajni uttered on the screen, he whistled with such force that often people had to collect his internal organs from various corners of the theater and return it to him.
>
> Seeing all these North Indians in a Tamil movie I was reminded of a Hindi play, which some students of my college performed during one of the college Youth Festivals. I studied in Kerala and the only Hindi that we were familiar with was the one spoken by the Krishi Darshan anchor. The play was set in Bombay. A bunch of strangers are playing cards. They introduce themselves and find that all of them are from Kerala. So one of them suggests that they all speak in Malayalam instead of struggling with Hindi. For the rest of the Hindi play, they spoke in Malayalam. The judges of the play were last seen standing in front of an oncoming train.
>
> Similarly, I thought Rajni would suggest that they all speak in Marathi. Instead he decided to renounce the world and become a sanyasi. But as Baba along with his sanyasi mates were going back to Switzerland, the person he had chosen as the Chief Minister gets shot. At that point people expected that he would turn around. But he did not. He turned back after 30 seconds because the camera was not set in slow-motion mode. The End. At this point I was willing to see Chandni Bar again.
>
> To the usual ingredients in a Rajni movie, like style, political punch lines, the much-expected introductory song, coriander and MTR sambar powder, the filmmakers tried to add some spirituality and it was not well cooked. If you are cooking spirituality, you are supposed to wait for three whistles in the pressure cooker according to an old jungle saying. The story and screenplay of the film was by Rajnikanth himself. Director Suresh Krissna in an interview said that, When he narrated the story to me, I was amazed by his vision and clarity. The media thought that Suresh Krissna was referring to the story of the film, but it turned out that he was talking about Rajni's contact lenses.
>
> In Tiruchirapalli, an unruly mob ransacked the theater and ran away with the film rolls. The mob also damaged a special screen erected for the release of the film at the Sri Ranga theater at Jayamkondam and burnt giant cut-outs of the matinee idol. This was their way of saying, We saw this movie and lost our money, so please don't watch it.
>
> A 24-year-old woman committed suicide allegedly dejected with her husband for not taking her to Baba at the suburban Korattur area. She reportedly rushed to the kitchen and set herself ablaze after dousing herself with kerosene. She died of severe burn injuries at a hospital, police said. This is a story which can be made into a movie with Nandita Das playing the role of the woman, Raghubir Yadav as her husband, and Bobby Deol as the can of Kerosene. If she had seen the movie, she still would have committed suicide.>
>
> But at the end of the movie, when Baba turns back to face the people in slow motion, the words that came up on the screen sent a chill down my spine right into my Muladhara Chakra causing my Kundalini energy to rise up. The words read: To be Continued. If anyone knows the location of that tunnel to Switzerland, let me know. I plan to go there to meet Babaji and ask for just one boon, In the next movie, give us the Padayappa Rajni back.

Why I dont update no more...and why I will

I started off on Live Journal a year ago, mainly because of and (the late lamented) . That was when I was alone in Bangalore, Sindha was doing her MD at Manipal, Kichan was just completing his engineering and had packed up and left for Mumbai. Posting updates to l-j was a good way to keep myself from going crazy.

Cut to the present - the wife's back, the brother is at home and the late nights at work have vanished. Ergo, no more updates, no more sob stories and no more raves 'n rants.

Well, I just realized that I do want to write. Meeting a bunch of fellow l-jers the other day at Barista's also helped. You feel you have a space of your own out here on Live Journal. Marking entries personal and friends-only has its advantages too.

So here I go again. , , and other irregulars, wake up !

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Could be a joke, but anyway...

This is scary. Went and changed my password right away. And is on my friends list....

Friday, September 6, 2002

Leh Lo

I've written up some stuff on the Leh trip here. This is very rudimentary html and the pics havent come out very well after scanning, so be warned.

Read and enjoy !

Friday, August 30, 2002

Tandem Theory


Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

THE STORY

(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile,which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geo-station 17,???*?? he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of
resistance so far...". But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when
the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things round her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)
Asshole.

(Gary)
Bitch.

(Rebecca)
DICK!

(Gary)
Slut.

(Rebecca)
Get fucked.

(Gary)
Eat shit.

(Rebecca)
FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.


Maybe we should do something like this on l-j as well. Start off on a story and everyone pitches in. One would need a community for that and I am all out of codes. Sounds interesting to anyone ? Want to try ?

Thursday, August 29, 2002

I do a Maveli

My recent visit to Kerala left me with mixed feelings. The trip was good on the whole - was able to spend some quality time with Sindha's folks at Trivandrum, met , visited Binoy at Cherthalai, attended my cousin's marriage and pigged out on food. However I have this feeling that Malayalees have changed a lot. They drink more, they appear more superficial, cynicism has increased... there's an air of restlessness and instability. "Ellolam undu poli vachanam", to paraphrase. Hope I'm wrong.

Saw a good malayalam movie after a long time - Meesha Madhavan. Its not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but its enough to keep one amused for a good two and half hours. Loved one of the songs - "ente ellam ellam alle...". Dileep has improved a lot, Sindha says that he must have got training from his wife Manju Warrier (one of the finest actresses in Malayalam, career wound up after marriage).

The first half of the Leh pics have come out quite well. Watch this space for links and a note on the trip

Current Book - The Collected Works of Roald Dahl, by Roald Dahl